


Left Behind

by AgeOfRogues



Series: Your Smile [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Crucible spoilers, End Game Spoilers, F/M, crusible au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-10-24
Packaged: 2018-08-24 10:40:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8369149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgeOfRogues/pseuds/AgeOfRogues
Summary: Crucible AU, so warnings apply. Just a little drabble that came to mind from a picture I saw on tumblr this morning. Warning: Angst.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Crucible AU, so warnings apply. Just a little drabble that came to mind from a picture I saw on tumblr this morning. Warning: Angst.

Hate can be a powerful thing.  Something heady and strong.  Something that can push you forward; or something that can hold you back.

  
Right now, she hated him more than she had anything else in the galaxy, and that was saying something.  Hated him for leaving her behind.

  
She grew up hating and distrusting people around her because of the high chance they would stab her in the back. Over the years, with the birth of her daughter and all the friends she made on the Normandy. The love she experienced, both familial and romantic.

  
The romantic love was dead, nothing left behind but a gauntlet with his name on it. He had worn it as a badge of pride, as well he should have. She gripped the only piece of armor she could find on the burnt and crumbled London street where she had last saw him as he pushed her onto the Normandy’s loading dock, practically dragged by her other team mates as she yelled and screamed despite broken bones and gashed skin.

  
“Shepard, you have to get out of here!”

  
“Yeah, that isn’t gonna happen, Major.”

  
She struggled; oh how she had struggled. It had been her job from the beginning to save the galaxy.  From Saren, from the Collectors. From the Reapers. And now, here he was, about to run into danger because that was who he was. Putting himself in danger to protect others, helping others.

  
When he walked up the ramp towards her with a sad smile on his face that she had seen more times than she had ever wished to see, she grew angry.  Maybe even growled a little.  When he touched the side of her face, his thumb rubbing under her left eye gently, even with armor on, she could feel his hand shaking and that threw her off.  He was always so sure of his abilities, of his power and strength. If he was shaking now, he shouldn’t be going through with what she knew he was planning.

  
“No matter what happens, Jamie.  Just know that I love you.  Always.”

  
She squeezed her eyes shut and growled, feeling the skin under them grow wet, and grabbed his wrist where he was cupping her cheek. This had to be a bad dream.  She had had hundreds of them.  She would simply wake up soon and everything would be okay.  He would be asleep at her side, softly snoring and she would know everything would be okay because he was at her side.

  
“Kaidan, please don’t do this. It isn’t your job. It’s been mine from the beginning.  You’re supposed to live, remember? Melina needs you more than some messed up person like me. You have done wonders for her since she went into your care.” She gripped his arm tighter to keep the tears at bay.

  
“It’s okay, Jamie.  Let someone else do the hard work for once.”

  
She let out a choked sob as he pulled away with ‘no’ on her lips.  She wanted to shout and scream and curse.  She wanted to say words that would make even Jack give her a second look. She didn’t have many good things in her life and now she was watching one of those things backing away from her, never taking his eyes off of hers. “No, Kaidan, please!  Don’t do this! I’ve only just got you back! I love you!”

  
She watched him look over his shoulder at the pulsing blue light backlit by the red of a Reaper’s eyes as it stared at them menacingly. When he returned his gaze towards her as she leaned against her teammate, she saw resolve and courage pouring off of him in waves like his biotics.

  
She had to stop him.  The world couldn’t lose a soldier and biotic like him.  The world needed someone good with a strong morale like him. She tried to struggle away from the person holding her, but her crutch held fast.

  
“Go!  Now!”

  
She reached out for him, straining her already injured arm muscles, to grab onto him and get him aboard. But he was out of her reach and she cried out in pain, both physical and emotional. In her moment of weakness, the person holding her up proceeded to pick her up and throw them over their shoulder to carry her back inside the ship.  Never once did she remove her eyes from her soldier as he ran towards the light.

  
She gripped his gauntlet tight now as the scene from just days ago flashed before her closed eyes.  Squeezing the composite metal so tight the skin of her knuckles turned white and her joints bulged, she felt tears falling down her cheeks again. She relished in the fiery pain they caused as they trailed down her skin like acid.

  
“Mom!” Her head whipped to the side at the sound of Melina’s voice as her daughter ran towards her with John and Mary behind her. She held the gauntlet tight to her chest even as Melina launched herself at her in a warm embrace. She held her child close, as tight as she possibly could, to make sure that she didn’t leave her too. When she pulled away from her, Melina looked at her and she knew what her daughter saw. “What’s that, mama? Where's the Major?”

  
She squeezed the piece of armor tight even as she tried to smile for her child. “I’m not sure, sweetheart. Do you have any suggestions where he might be?”

  
“The Citadel? He used to tell me that everyone goes to the Citadel, that it is the hub of the galaxy.”

  
“Then let’s check there, hmm?”

  
On the Citadel, she took her daughter, John and Mary with her to where she knew the Conduit had connected with the Citadel.  If his body were to be anywhere, it would be here. He deserved a proper burial.

  
They, along with the Normandy crew, all searched the tower for hours for any signs of life. When bits of building couldn't be lifted, those that could used biotic Lifts and piled it all carefully.  They found body parts and bodies charred beyond recognition.  So much life lost, but they had prevailed against the galactic threat. But had it been worth it? She shook such a thought from her head as she lifted some debris.

  
As she cast it carefully aside, she saw charred booted feet sticking out from under a slab of building.  Another body.  She felt her chest clench at her find.  It was nothing new - it had happened dozens of times already. “I have another one over here!” She called over her shoulder towards where the rest of her crew was digging through chunks of building.

  
She gasped when she saw the feet twitch and a weak blue glow tried to flow over the only part of the person’s body she could see.  A biotic! She dared not hope, for if she was wrong… She was getting tired of having hope, only to see it dashed with every discovered set of charred remains. “I think they’re still alive!”

  
Everyone crowded around her to create a work line as she pulled pieces of debris off and handed it to the next person under the watchful gaze of Melina.  Her daughter had been her rock, always eagerly looking for the Major or any other survivor that she could help. She didn’t want her daughter to be exposed to so much death, but Melina had insisted.

  
The biotic continued to flicker weakly as they slowly uncovered their body. When she revealed the person’s torso, she could tell by the armor plating that it was a male that they had found. Male biotic. If she had believed in a deity, she would certainly be praying to them right now.  As it were, she stamped down that traitorous hope as she continued unburying the poor soul caught in the rubble. If only they could I.D him - they might be able to help him more - but his armor was charred beyond recognition and possibly fused to his skin.

  
She flicked her wrist and activated her flashlight on her omni-tool when only a few pieces were left, including one large one she knew she was going to have to use a lift on. “Sir! Sir, can you hear me? Help is here.  We’re going to get you out of here and to safety.  Hold on!” She called, wanting to reassure him that she was going to do her best to help him survive, no matter what race he ended up being.  When she spoke, however, his blue pulsed brighter as if in reaction to her voice.

  
When she finally got the last large piece of rubble off of him, she noticed he looked human.  His armor familiar in design, but no colors were visible. She shed light on him to look him over, feeling her gut tighten at how burned he was. “Sir, can you hear me? My name is Commander Shepard of the Alliance Navy.  I’m here to rescue you.” Over her shoulder she shouted, “Someone get Chakwas down here!  He needs help!”

  
As she watched some of her team scurry to do as she commanded, she felt a hand clasp her own and squeeze it weakly, his biotics flowing over her like a warm summer breeze after a cold spring.

  
“Jam-ie.”

  
Her heart stopped at her name. Only three people called her by her first name, and two of them were standing behind her as she had worked to uncover the poor soul. She could feel surprise from John and Mary.  She heard Melina move closer when she heard him speak. She gripped his hand in hers as she crawled closer to the man, who’s features visible were nearly burned completely away. It couldn't be, could it? Dare she let hope fill her at the thought that he might have survived?

  
She held the man’s hand tight as Melina did the same on the other side. Melina was the one to speak first. “Major? Is that you?”

  
The man smiled weakly in answer and she felt her pulse leap. “Kaidan?” She whispered, her voice shaking with emotion. “Is that you under there, soldier?” When he gave her a weak nod, a weak squeeze to her hand and a pale blue glow, she called out to her team to get Chakwas here faster, loathe to take her gaze off of him and lose him again.

  
When the doctor finally arrived, she moved out of the way and closer to his head, holding his hand close to her heart and squeezing it carefully. How had he survived such impossible odds? She thought back to the biotics she had seen as she had slowly uncovered his body. He had to have erected one hell of a barrier to have survived. She shook her head and gave him a watery smile as oh so carefully placed him on a stretcher to be taken to the Normandy and then to an Alliance hospital on Earth.

  
He was going to survive.  She would make sure of it. Woe to anyone who thought otherwise.

  
~//~


End file.
